“Hey dad”
Yeah kiddo
“Remember what your dad’s last words were”
You mean the ones I can tell you
“Yeah”
I’m not telling you the swear words or the bad stuff
“Yeah yeah I know”
‘Lemme outta here’
“That’s what he said”
Yeah
“He said, ‘Lemme outta here’”
Then he tried to get up outta the … bed
“Then he died”
Like the next day
“Huh”
I don’t want you worrying too much about the
“I’m just thinking I’m not worrying”
Well
“My last words will be better”
Haha be tough to top that
“I tried to have that be my project in Writing class but Miss Majeski said No way Jose”
You getting dark and morbid at school again, kiddo?
“Will you be there”
For your last words?
“Or will you be dead already”
You better outlive me let’s put it like that
“Mine will be better mine will be an epitaph”
Uh-huh
“You just wait and see”
I think the thing with my dad was he was totally out of it
“From the morphine”
And I think the hospice said what happens is you go back in time kinda and he mighta been talking to someone from like way back when
“Like his sister”
Definitely not his sister
“Maybe he was talking to his dad”
Probably not him neither
“Maybe his mom”
Knowing my dad he was probably talking to the guy behind the counter at the White Hen
“Where he would buy his cigarettes”
Yeah and just sit around talking
“Do you think your dad wanted to die”
What’s going on, kiddo
“I can’t sleep”
Probably should stop thinking bout all that death huh
“Grandma S wants to die”
What?
“Your mom wants to die”
…
…
…
“I heard you on the phone with Uncle Glen”
…
…
…
The thing about that is it’s not that she wants to die it’s that she doesn’t really wanna be alive anymore
“And she’s dying”
Probably yeah
“When you go down can I come with”
You mean Florida?
“What else would I mean”
You can come to Florida I guess but I gotta be honest with you
“It won’t be pretty”
It will not be pretty
“I saw this movie”
You gotta go to sleep soon, kiddo
“Someone invented an invention where you could have anything you want”
That sounds horrible
“That sounds amazing”
I mean the movie
“Oh yeah the movie sucked”
Sounds like something Ryan Reynolds would be in
“Here we go with the Ryan Reynolds hate again”
I don’t hate him I just
“And there wasn’t a downside in the movie to the invention I kept waiting for a problem to happen like the invention to malfunction or people to regret what they got but it never happened and it was weird to see something sweet and good”
Or Bradley Cooper Bradley Cooper would totally be in this movie
“It wasn’t him either dad”
Harmless dudes anodyne dudes
“Can we just”
Who was it
“Some guy does it matter who”
I spose not
“And by the end everyone was happy and everyone got what they wanted and they were happy they got it the things they wanted made them happy and it made me feel I dunno maybe good I dunno”
What would you want
“If I could have anything I wanted”
If whatever it was in the movie happened to you
“It was an invention”
Okay if you had the invention
“And I could have anything I wanted”
Whatever was going on in the movie was going on with you
…
…
…
“A Nintendo Switch”
Ah come on
“With all the games and the subscription”
If this is just your way of telling me what you want for Christmas
“I would also want our dog back and I would also want a second bathroom and I would also want to have met Uncle Danny”
You met Uncle Danny
“But I don’t remember”
Ah
“What would you want”
I would want a time machine
“That’s good”
Right?
“That’s real good”
Kill Baby Hitler
“Huh?”
Nothing
“Why would you kill Baby Hitler”
I wouldn’t really
“You would let him live”
I wouldn’t even go to Baby Hitler
“Smart”
Yeah why face the decision
“Real smart”
Avoid the whole thing entirely
“But go to London in the blitz cos air raids would be so cool”
We gotta go to bed soon kiddo
“I’m wide awake”
Next time sneak a decaf
“Do you think if we gave the invention to Grandma S, she would want something”
She’d want my dad back
“You know there’s that movie where pets come back to life”
Yeah I don’t wanna talk about that one
“Now there’s a movie where you get what you want and it’s bad”
I think Grandma S would want to just relive there was a really good four or five year period where they were both happy
“And then he died”
Well he got sick first and before that he broke his back but before his back was broke they had a good few years
“If I made that movie”
Everyone would get Switches
“I wouldn’t have made it about love”
Was there love in it
“There always has to be love and it doesn’t make any sense they just throw love into it”
I’m surprised you kept watching
“I did my homework”
You’re not sposed to do your homework while you’re
“It was just Science”
Oh
“Yeah”
Well in that case
“Science and Math and Writing which was only a paragraph on a Prized Possesion”
What’d you pick
“The bathroom when no one else is around”
You know how much a second bathroom’s gonna cost, like where’s that money coming from
“And then I finished all that and they were done with the love stuff and so it was fine they got back to the good stuff”
What Mary said, all of it. Plus, I hate Ryan Reynolds too.
Thank you for this nostalgic full-of-reality (which is always the best place to be) read this early Thanksgiving morning. I will always be grateful for you and your talent. Happy T-Day.